How can you comfortably admit misogyny exists and yet still retain rights to the culture that lets you earn more money, enjoy greater legal protection, safety, professional advancement, status and choice than women? You can’t. That’s why women are silenced: because if men acknowledge misogyny and sexism, they have to acknowledge how they benefit from misogyny and sexism.
When you say your a feminist…I hope you really know what that means. It means standing up for women of color.
Standing by black women who must deal with being referred to as welfare queens or ratchet.
Being a feminist is standing beside immigrant women who deal with wage theft, unsafe working conditions, and being referred to as leaving anchor babies in America.
It means standing beside Native American women who face domestic violence and rape at unprecedented rates.
It means standing beside Muslim women who choose to live out their faith and face Islamaphobia, sexism and ignorance constantly.
It means standing beside Asian women who have been misrepresented in the media to be thought of as only submissive and quiet.
Please recognize that feminism impacts the lives of every single one of these groups…but we are all women
Statistically, a woman is more likely to be hurt by a man than she is to ever be eaten by a shark, hit by a car, be attacked by a bear, crash in a plane, or be bitten by a spider. When a woman expresses fear of any of these events, she is still seen as a rational person. When I tell people that I am afraid of swimming in the ocean because I’m afraid of sharks, they accept it almost without question. But, when I tell people that I’m afraid of men, that men scare me more than sharks and spiders and freak plane accidents all combined, I immediately lose their respect. I am considered elitist. I am considered sub-human.
I am not Mike Brown. I am white. I am middle class. I am female. I am small. I am not considered a threat. When police see me they see someone who looks like them. They see their mothers, their daughters, their sisters, themselves. I am not at risk of being shot by police for existing while black. I am not at risk of being shot while unarmed. I am not at risk of being shot while armed with nothing more than a BB gun. I am not at risk of being shot for reaching for my wallet. I am privileged.
But I am outraged. And if you aren’t outraged, then you aren’t paying attention. This is America in 2014. This is our reality. It’s so easy to get jaded and to ignore these atrocities, to act like this doesn’t affect us. It’s so easy to get apathetic. In the past it was the youth who protested. Where is the rage of the youth? Where is our rage?
Like I said, I am not Mike Brown. But I am outraged.
You do not have to defend yourself.
You do not have to explain yourself.
You do not have try and educate them.
You cannot defend yourself from them. That is why they are attacking you.
You cannot explain yourself to them. They don’t care what you say and will just lie about it to attack you more.
You cannot educate them. They do not want to learn, and when was the last time someone who didn’t want to learn ever did?
Yes, they will tell you that you need to defend yourself. Tell them to go away, because they are dishonest, ignorant, and incompetent.
They will try to convince you, to cajole you, to trick you into explaining yourself. Tell them to go away, because they are fraud and misogynists and victim blames.
They will plead with you and beseech you and try reverse psychology on you and call you terrible things for not educating them. Tell them go away, because they are pathetic, prejudiced, bigoted transphobes.
They hate those words. Ignorant, incompetent, prejudiced, bigoted, pathetic, dishonest, misogynist.
They hate those words because they see America falling in love with Janet Mock and Laverne Cox. They hate those words because Title IX and the EEOC say trans people are protected nationally. They hate these words because when you say die or get hurt or suffer, they can use that against you and your brothers and sisters and siblings.
They don’t wear pointy hates and white sheets, but they may as well. They don’t march in tall boots and shatter windows of storefronts, but they may as well. They do side with anti-LGBT groups, making them anti-LGBT, and they are proud of that.
They say the t shouldn’t exist. They say the t isn’t a part. They say the t can’t be lesbian trans women and gay trans men and bi queer folks. Which means they ARE anti-Lgb, as well as anti-LGBT.
These are people who say kill all men and then call trans women men. So they are saying kill all trans women.
Kill all the women of a particular class they don’t like.
That is genocide.
You don’t give people who want to do genocide anything they want from you.
Especially not your spirit.